baseball, slippers and such

We are in the full swing of season round here. Blessed with a very busy restaurant, me with my AWESOME new FULL TIME job, kids in 3 different directions, and trying to learn to balance it all. this brings me to baseball... he plays 2 games a week (sometimes 3) 2 practices a week, and would prefer the batting cages or to hang at the field with his baseball homies than anything to do with myself and his sisters. We secretly LOVE it! (ha!!! take that you little 11 year old punk) We load up on jackets, and LOTS of change/ dollars for the concession stand, and head out! I love the weather this time of year, I love even more the chance to sit and watch my boy learn the game. He is making a whole new group of buddies, learning not just about hitting the ball and running, but learning about the correct steal, slide and the perfect bunt. He stuffs his mouth with sunflower seeds, has the perfect stance, and most important .... he is literally having a ball!!!! The girls love the little posse of friends they have at the ball field. They love working in the concession stand, and cutest thing ever is to hear Olivia announcing who is up to bat, and cracking herself up on the loud speaker when she calls out her big brothers name!

My boys take this serious, they have their practice jersey and game jersey meticulously laid out the night before, the best bat, glove and whatever else fits in that VERY expensive ball bag. I do want to make 1 HUGE disclosure on this blog and feel free to comment. I will wash the uniform 4 times a week, scrub the pants to get them white as white, travel to whatever field, fund the snacks, pack the water bottles etc. and damn near kill myself hooten and hollerin for him to RUNNNNN!!!!!!!! SLIDE!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOO!!!! GOOOOOOO!!!, but I wil not .... I repeat WILL NOT remove his cup from his jock strap, just sayin! This is a task he can do, I go to load the laundrey and yup, there it is .... no way buddy, nadda, not doin it.

Hey . . . and by the way, who says you can't wear uggs in Naples? I am rockin out the slippers, it is cold out there baby!!!!

girlfriends...

What would I do without them! I need them, love them like sisters I never had. I have lots of them (thank God) Had the opportunity to hand w/ a few of them last night. We grew up here, went to high school together, married, had children etc. and now we have to schedule these not often enough dinners together! I literally get giddy before seeing them. I know there will be lots of laughs, great gossip ( yes we gossip... so?) sometimes tears, but most of ... acceptance. We know no matter what we are going through, we love each other, we love each others spouses (or significant others Tommy.. just saying) we love our children and love talking about them and the mamas and wives that they make us! I have been up and down lately, mostly good days but some yucky ones. I am ready to move on, ready to forget all of the hurt and pain, and fuck it! sometimes I am tired of the whole "you are so strong" " you can do this" bullshit and so, when a night like this comes, there are no words. We just know. We know what each of us needs. They speak to me and at the same time they say nothing at all... they just get it! I can say what I want and they support, no judging, just letting me know. We talk about things inappropriate, we say things that some of you only WISH you had the friend that would say that shit out loud. We get serious, talk about local news issues, politics and religion. We may not always agree, but we ALWAYS accept each others opinions. I saw a sign in Homegoods yesterday, it said "when you find a TRUE friend, you hold on to them w/ both hands". Well I am grabbin these girls tight, holding on with my non-slip gloves, and not letting go! Looking forward to a new year, full of an empty canvas, full of happiness, and especially full of memories with these bitches!!!

randomness...

I hate to say it, that things are good. That is something I want to be careful with. I thought things were good before, I thought I would never feel good again, but I DO! that huge cut I suffered from that massive blow is finally starting to scab up. Eventually there will be a scar. I am sure it will be an ugly scar, but i think I can cover it up pretty good. I wouldn't change a thing about the way I handled myself. I know who my true friends are, the ones that I am sure it was so hard to be there, but they were. The friends that want BOTH of us to be happy, good. I look in the mirror and I am proud of the way I have handled myself. I am proud of the mother and wife that I am. I am inspired by my faith and truly have experienced Amazing Grace. The power of forgiveness is strong, and I feel empowered that he and I are strong enough and love each other enough to do this. We are growing, yes with lots of tears, but also lots of laughs. Brutal honesty and a renewed belief in ourselves and our vows and the faith that we believe. I am stronger because of this. I am doing things I never thought capable, and I feel good. Yes, there will be bad days, but I learning to cope, I am learning to be vulnerable, I learning that hurt is accepting that it can be good again. I am learning what true love and true friendship is, but most of all... I am learning to love this crazy life of mine all over again.

and ... a little more lake

the lake

blessed w/ southern grace!!!!!!

it was perfect. It was just what i needed! My people, my roots... "kin" we left early, we drove all day, we saw Cotton in full bloom, and drove through the state of Alabama wrapped in Gator snuggies ( GASP )!!!!! we arrived in time for supper! greeted by cool air and wine on the deck and a sunset on the lake. We ate the MOST delish pot roast and mashed potatoes, and we laughed. We laughed, and caught up, and just "soaked" each other up! I always feel like I am at a bed and breakfast here, we have our own little sweet, a big welcome cozy bed, a guest room, a bathroom, all upstairs and cozy and perfect. Woke up every morning to the smell of coffee and eggs, and bacon, and gravy and biscuits. Every meal around a table, preceded with "grace" led by my Uncle Sonny, he was most grateful for the blessings of family, and the children of our family. Days were spent with Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, all arriving and BIG hugs, all day on the boat, and fishing lines, and cast nets, an "wine thirty"!!! BB-Q and grill outs, and CAUSBIES cookies delivered special by my cousins from Kennett. "ooey gooey butter cake" and b-day cake for my cousin Jonna. Late night chats with my cousins, early morning coffee outside in crisp air. A long and perfect day on the boat, a visit to the water falls, as we watched our boys climb the rocks and take their first daring jump off of the falls!!! Followed by late afternoon on the dock, kids running and jumping off the dock, wave running and tubing. more food, more wine and more chats. LOVED waking up to all three kiddos climbing into bed and cuddling w/ me. Life is different her, no phone, no computer, but lots of love. We have been coming here for 17 years now, and we have thousands of memories. Sooo many laughs, soooo much love and most of all ... lots more memories to come. I love these people. I love their unconditional love, and the "southern grace" I am blessed to be born with.

this and that...

life is rolling along, I think it can,t and then I find myself doing it... just living. I am still alive, I am more aware, more appreciative. I am breathing in my mornings a little deeper, hugging my friends a little tighter, listening to my kids just talk about their friends, life, praying a little more, working a little harder. Kids have settled nicely into school, they love their teachers and complain about homework, they get off the bus starving, rush through homework and the race outside to play with their friends, stop the ice cream truck, and beg to stay out 10 minutes longer when I tell them to come in. I am packing today, heading to Tennessee, to soak up my southern roots like biscuits soak up gravy. I haven't seen them in a while, I need them, my roots, my dads family. I need my kids to play with cousins, swim in a lake, jump off a dock, catch fish and eat the best southern food in the south. When we are there, life slows down, we sit on a porch and say few words, or sometimes we don't stop talking, we remember our grandparents, and Christmas's and dinners spent at the kids table. The kids FREAK out when they see a lightning bug, Abby swears she saw a "Tinkerbell" and my heart swells, my eyes get cloudy, because I love this big ole southern bunch so much! We head out tomorrow, early in the morning, dive the 12 and 1/2 hours, surely stopping at a cracker barrel along the way, driving along back roads, and state highways. They look for signs, Georgia, Alabama then into Tennessee/Mississippi. They get excited and so do I! I can't wait....